A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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