She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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