She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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