So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you traded sex for a burrito?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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