Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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