What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
