You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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