It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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