Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
