well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I party with great urgency now.
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