Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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