GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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