Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
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We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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