Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
