if i can run in heels then i can drive
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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