i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
