You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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