Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
