She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
3pm strippers are depressing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
