I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Non-Jews are for practice
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
