im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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