There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
