For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
