i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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