I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
