why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
