Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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