he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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