Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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