I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
