So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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