she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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