the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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