I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
