All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
