...so i touched it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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