before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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