She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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