69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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