I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
