im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
