i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
