he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
