I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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