next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So much rum. So many feels.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
do nipples grow back?
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