Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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