Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
