Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
