you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
