worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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