he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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