walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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