i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i think i just lost a toe
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