i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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