9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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