i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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