also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
