i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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