im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
