The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
smell my finger.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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