ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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