ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
