I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
