bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
