I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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