i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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